Sunday, November 7, 2010

Spa Day!

Good afternoon, darling! So nice to see you again! Oh thank you - "radiant" is always a welcome compliment! Tosh, darling - of course I haven't had any work done - just some tender loving care from my favorite spa.

You can imagine after last night's adventure in late night rain traipsing, I woke up a complete mess. I didn't even bother trying to look decent as I left the house. I just threw on whatever covered me (and covered well, for heaven knows I didn't want anyone seeing me like that!) and headed out the door.

The spa I swear by has a cat that isn't overly fond of Sammy Davis Jr. Jr. Since he too needed some rejuvenation after his odyssey, I dropped him off at his doggy day spa before heading to my haven. Once I got to the reception area, I threw myself into a corner hoping no one would recognize me and waited.

What are you lookin' at cat?

 "Miss Edith! Oh. Mah. Gawd! What happened to you?!" My beloved Bishopess of Hair, Sheez Aho, gasped and made the sign of the cross as I looked up at her pitifully. "Oh no no NO, Miss Queen! You come with Sheez. We are gonna fix this!" She took my hand and guided me back to her chair.

 "Don't you worry Miss Edith! Sheez is gonna take good care of you!" I felt myself begin to relax as her thick, manly hands lathered and washed my frazzled hair. Before I knew it, I was robed, deep cleansed, micro-abraised, given a facial massage, and covered in glorious mud ("with extra cucumbers, Miss Queen. You need some of God's green help today!").

"Now then, you just relax here in my chair and I will work my magic on you!" I closed my eyes and put all my faith in Sheez's ability to return me to my former glory. "Yes, Miss Edith, you are gonna look so fabulous when we are done with you! Oh no... Oh what in gay hell..."

 "Miss Edith, you just keep those pretty blue eyes closed, ok? (Hey, Michel, hand me that bottle... no, not that one, the... erm.... SoluciĆ³n de Elmers... right, that one.) Ok Miss Edith, no peeking now! Can't have anyone discovering my trade secrets, can we? Just trust me - I'll have you good as new in no time. Better than new, even!

I must have dozed off during my transformation because the next thing I knew, my curlers were firmly in place and Sheez was helping me out of the chair. The delightful manicurist Madiene beckoned me to her nail station and I happily went.

Darling, if you don't have regular manicures, I cannot suggest them highly enough! Our hands take such a beating with all of that waving and holding of cocktails, let alone the sheer weight of the rings we wear! To have your hands pampered and fawned over is a singular joy!

"Ahh, Mees Ediff, joo look so sessy today!" My heart fluttered a bit as I heard Ripley's soft, accented voice behind me. I tittered and allowed him to lead me from the nail station to the massage table.

"There there, Mees Ediff, joo just let me help joo relax, k?"

Good heavens, darling, what that man can do with his hands, his arms, his elbows, and I blush to assume, his entire body!

His huge, warm hands seemed to sculpt my body and I felt myself melting into the table.

Whatever stress was left in me dissolved as I lay there under Ripley's strong, able hands and his soft, seductive eyes. I was so deep in bliss that when he was finished, I couldn't move. Well, of course I didn't want to get off his table, dear, but who would? Regardless of what I desired, at that point I was so relaxed I couldn't get up!

Oh darling, he is so strong! He picked me up oh so gently from his table and with the help of a few more strapping, equally alluring young men, got me situated in the chair for my foot treatment. I felt so cozy and loose, the whir of the foot bath soothed me into a light sleep. At some point an attendant came in to remove my mask, but I barely noticed. I was having such a nice dream...

I was startled awake by the beeping of the foot bath, which summoned Sheez to reappear and usher me back into her chair. "Now, Miss Edith," she said with giddy glee, rubbing her hands together. "Let's bang some hair!"

She pulled this way and that, folding hair over and under and then over again, working that comb and scissors with such skill and precision. Sheez is a true master - part architect, part sculptor, part mad scientist!

Slowly, my hair went from one form to another, and then another, and another. It was a metamorphosis - like watching a caterpillar go into it's cocoon...

...and then reemerge as a butterfly. Everyone gathered around and applauded as I came out of the final makeup and dressing room. Sheez wept and Madiene squealed in glee. Ripley declared that I was, in fact, too sexy!

I walked in feeling like a crumpled piece of week-old windblown newspaper, and walked out feeling like a shiny new roll of Hallmark holiday gift wrap! There was a spring in my step and sparkle in my eye! I was ready to get to my special event of the day - The Superhero Epilepsy Combat Syndicate benefit!

(To keep my already long story posts from being painfully longer, credit details are in the comment section below, or you can find credits to specific pictures on my Flickr Page! A directory of SLurls can be found here!)


  1. I honestly don't know how to credit all of this... it would be the World's Longest Comment if I did everything! Unless I get objections or a suggestion on how to do it otherwise, I'll highlight some here and then tell everyone to go to my Flickr page and get the full credits.

    All the spa props - the hair salon, the nail station, the massage table, and the foot spa - are all from the glorious RC Cluster.

    My cucumber mask is a group gift from Ugly Duck ("The Mask")(I added more cucumbers), and my sunglasses are from Paper Couture (Flashbulb Sunglasses)

    The Hair:
    In the first segment - the wild, crazy hair is from boon (VNS660 platinum). My hair curlers are from The Rural Route. All of my final hairs in the hair banging section are from Bliss, all in the color Vanille. The first one is Chano, the second is Sadie, and the final one is Cecilia.

    In the finished product, my dress is from Donna Flora (Oscar), my glasses are from The Wriggleworth(50s Granny Glasses), my jewelry is from Paper Couture(Diamond Pearl Menagerie Set), and my pose is from Adorkable (Diva (I think)).

    Again... see my Flickr for *full* credits. There's a bunch!

    Also - thank you Daisy for your help in this!

  2. What's the number for this spa? I think I need a date -- I mean, a massage -- with Ripley.

  3. Oh darling, I'm so sorry! I seem to have misplaced it at the moment... yes, that's it... I misplaced it.

  4. LOLOL Edith!! joo so seesssyyyy!! MWAMWA love this honey, soo original and filled w/ energy! Very bery fabulous darling.

  5. OMG Sheez Aho defies description. You just can't find a word that gives justice to that style. Let's just say your hair looks out of this world. I wonder if your hairdresser, Sheez Aho, would like to meet my hairdresser, Nora Titoff?

    Here's hoping Sammy Davis Jr Jr got the royal treatment too.

    I so love your stories.

  6. Muah, Blur! Muah Chalice! Sheez probably would enjoy meeting Nora Titoff. Tell me, does Nora love the smell of hair product in the morning? If so, we should get those two together!

  7. Oh good lord, and I thought *I* was having fun! SO happy to have found your corner of the blogosphere!! I was already enchanted, already a fan, but you have me on your hook for shizzle now, Dame E... Cheers to you from YoYo Burckhardt :))

  8. Aw thank you, darling YoYo! You are quite enchanting yourself!